Katy Perry’s album rollout is like a very slow, pseudo-feminist car crash I can’t look away from. On Wednesday, she appeared in an episode of Call Her Daddy, wearing a T-shirt with a nipple ring on the outside and speaking with unsettling intensity about house chores and her sex life. The episode included everything from a half-hearted defense of her decision to work with disgraced producer Dr. Luke to her claim that she gives her husband, Orlando Bloom, blowjobs when he does the dishes.
It started when Call Her Daddy host Alex Cooper asked Perry about her red flags, which included “someone that won’t help around the house.” “The load can be so heavy for women,” Perry said, ticking off a bullet on her feminist talking points list, “and there’s so many invisible things that we do.” She said that one of her love languages is “acts of service,” at which point things began to go off the rails.
“If I come downstairs and the kitchen is clean, and you’ve done all the dishes, and you’ve closed all the pantry doors, you better be ready to get your dick sucked!” Perry proclaimed, her voice suddenly turning feral. “That is my love language!” she continued to shout. “I don’t need a red Ferrari! I can buy a red Ferrari! Just do the fucking dishes! I will suck your dick! It’s that easy!” Trust me when I say that the transcript doesn’t do it justice. You really must witness it for yourself:
In case you are having trouble believing that Perry and Bloom hand-wash literally anything, she later clarified that they are “fortunate to have a housekeeper, but on the weekends he knows that that’s important.” Right on cue, Bloom commented on Perry’s post promoting the episode, “I’ve cleaned the whole house.” Scrub-a-dub-dub!
